thoughts

Re-Creating

2010-03-08T21:16:00.003-06:00

I have decided to change. I will be re-creating myself from the ground up. Follow me to my new blog and we'll see where this road leads!

The passing of time

2010-03-03T15:58:00.002-06:00

I have become severely lax concerning this blog. I have not forgotten it but have been waaaaay too busy. More to come....i promise.

My Heart's Cry

2009-04-26T23:19:00.002-05:00

I feel a pulling from the Lord to repentance and to give myself to a time of "sackcloth and ashes". I am not reaching my potential in Christ with the way I am living now. It's not enough.

There is a time that is coming soon where I will be needed to do things that I cannot personally do without God's help. There is something great and terrible coming and I fear that I am not capable of ministering to people or representing Christ to the degree that I should. I must change. I feel as though God is granting His people a small window of time to repent and prepare for the coming storm. Most of us are so asleep that we cannot and will not wake up.
God says,

"Awake you who sleep, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light!"
Ephesians 5:14

Can you not see that we are the light of the world? What good is that light if we hide it? Why would Jesus die for a group of people to calmly and quietly hide their flicker of a flame? A Christian you say? Bleh. We are no more worthy of the title "Christian" than Satan is "righteous"!

Jesus said that these signs shall follow them that believe;
1. In my name shall they cast out devils;
2. They shall speak with new tongues;3. They shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Mark 16:17-18

How many have you accomplished this week? We are so enamored with ourselves that we cannot even see the sinner! Forget Satan and his minions! We can't even conquer our own flesh! How are we supposed to have signs and wonders that lead to the glory of Christ if we can't stay saved for more than 5 hours?

Jesus also stated that, "Unless your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees, you will never enter into the kingdom of heaven"!

Matthew 5:20

God, please let me be better than the people who nailed your Son on the cross. Forgive me, oh God! Give me clean hands and a pure heart. Let there be a right spirit in me and create in me a clean heart. Let my focus be solely on you. You are the one true King, the only One Righteous Lord, the Lover of my soul, my Provider, my Comfort, you alone are worthy!

My Mirror

2009-04-21T22:15:00.001-05:00

I've been praying about things lately and have found that we have so much more pride than we think. It has infiltrated our lives to the very core. We have become so much like our enemy that the Father no longer sees His son in our lives but the working of Satan!

How often we think we are being abused or under appreciated! I deserve more! It is my right! So many preachers focus on "Our authority in Jesus" instead of "The lordship of Christ". We don't need a master, only a nanny. Someone who can watch out for us. Someone who can change us when we make a mess of things. Someone who can feed us what we want, when we want it. No more, no less.

We no longer have an all powerful God who reigns in majesty and unity, but have reduced Him to our slave! With what authority do we say or believe such things? You know what it is that gives us this belief. The church has focused so much on it that it has lost the sight of Jesus altogether. It is the spirit of anti-Christ. We can't see! If we would only look into the mirror, we would find our anti-Christ.
Can you not see? It is yourself!

I have become like my enemy. God forbid that we become so blessed from Heaven and are bestowed with immense power from the Holy Spirit that we outshine Christ in this world!

Forgive us Lord.

A Difference

2009-03-24T20:21:00.004-05:00

I've come to realize a few things over the past several days. Things that I once loved no longer hold my attention. For example: I would normally be able to spend hours on the internet every day. Watching videos, playing games, or just on myspace/facebook was what typically described my day. I logged on tonight and after I checked my email and updated my facebook status I kind of just stopped and looked around. I was bored.

Mind you, this is not just a boredom from lack of entertainment but one of what occupied so much of my time. My priorities have changed. I thought of that old song that holds so much power in it's words. "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus".

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

We so often weaken Christ in our lives. I heard a quote the other day that said, "Jesus is waiting to be wanted". Wow. How much conviction does that place on your heart? If none, beware.

How many times have I prayed for the gifts of the Spirit in my life? How many times have I asked for miracles, healings, and supernatural manifestations in my life and ministry? How stupid! How foolish I was. God does not want to give me supernatural powers! He wants me to lead people to Him! He wants people to lead others to Him! He wants you to lead others to Him!
Forget powers and gifts and cling to the cross! Without holiness we will not see God! I don't need the gift of wisdom or knowledge in my life when I have Christ!

How pathetic we must all be to consider ourselves a primary candidate for His power and gifts. We can not even go through a week, One Week, without sin or corruption in our hearts and spirits. How can He trust us with the supernatural if we cannot overcome the natural? Wow. So simple.

Thank you Lord for not giving me what is rightfully mine, or due. I could never repay the love, grace, mercy, kindness, affection, patience, peace, friendship, teaching, comforting, correcting, and desire that you have given me. I am not worthy to be called a son in your kingdom, but a servant instead. Let me become your servant as the mighty men before me. You are worthy of a million eternities' worth of praise and I am immensely grateful that you accept mine. I love you Lord. Hallelujah.

Victory!

2009-03-23T12:08:00.003-05:00

I have been through a myriad of things this past week. Some good, some not so much. I have begun a series in our youth on holiness and it has brought me to a greater level.

I woke up this morning with a song in my heart. Ever heard of "Joy Unspeakable"? Check it out. Lemme give you a little tidbit.

I have found His grace is all complete,
He supplieth every need;
While I sit and learn at Jesus’ feet,
I am free, yes, free indeed.

I dreamed a very eventful dream last night. I was going through a type of movie theater but the ceilings were very low and dark through the hallways. There was a very strange feeling around everything in the dream. I would walk up to a curtain that had the image and name of that movie on it and just look at it. Behind each curtain was the movie room. So, there were no doors, just each curtain.

When I looked at the movie name and image I immediately knew what it was about or what it had in the movie. It was like an instant movie rating. This one was rated R. There was something very eery about it all. All of a sudden, something changed and I saw everything for what it really was. This wasn't a movie but a stronghold in my life! Not particularly with movies with an R rating but the content in the movies. It was a very strong temptation to go through the curtain and I came close, but I resisted! I never went inside!

That's when I woke up and realized what the Lord was trying to tell me. I had started the tearing down of places that the enemy has built inside of me. That's why I woke up with this song on my lips! Through victory in Christ I have joy unspeakable! Hallelujah!

I have now turned my attention to my inner man and his well being. The war has begun.

Leavin

2009-03-02T23:45:00.005-06:00

"I'm leavin on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again..."

I've been singing this song while I pack for my second trip to the great state of North Carolina. For the next few days my fiance and I will be in a whirlwind of wedding planning, family visiting, and sleep deprived days. Pray for us.

We hope to have engagement pictures made during this time also, which is exciting. We can finally have some nice pictures of us together.

I'm looking forward to this trip, however hectic it may be.
It will be a nice breath of fresh air for me. If anything, I get some Zaxby's! Yay!

A life worth living

2009-02-19T13:31:00.003-06:00

Good day!

There is a change happening within me. My thoughts are more focused on how God sees me. I have been thinking more and more about eternity as of late. Life is short. What if we each knew our time of death? How would we live?

I've been considering my life on earth. This is just a vapor, an easily blown away cloud. With something so short and fragile, shouldn't we live to the best of our ability while we have it? We are so decieved to believe that we will all make it to our 90's and no harm will come to us or our families. We all believe that we have time.

Everyone has heard this question before. What would you do if you knew that today was your last day on earth? How would you spend your last day alive? Some say that they would skydive, spend it with friends or family, eat the most expensive meal and live life to it's fullest. I've thought about this lately. How would I spend it? In prayer? With those I love? More and more I see myself running to family that I know is lost and begging them to recieve Christ. I would spend the day moving as fast as I could, going from person to person and pleading with them to repent.

I would let my last day in this life be as the rest should have been. We all know the inevitable question that comes next. Why don't you live that way now? The answer? Its not pretty and no one wants to hear it. The answer is, we choose not to. What if I spent every day of my life believing it was my last? I would no doubt be ridiculed, made fun of, and rejected. I would also win some for Christ. I would bring my family and friends to Jesus and I would save a dying world.

I fear my judgement.

I'm ready

2009-01-29T21:39:00.003-06:00

Another day, another blog.

Some things I've learned by living on my own:

1. It pays to learn how to cook. (Man truly can not live on bread alone)
2. Having to do laundry with quarters is no fun.
3. Its not polite to blast your stereo in an apartment.
4. Its also not polite to jump up and down while living in an upstairs apartment.
5. Fruit doesn't last nearly as long as it should.
6. There's no dress code.
7. Its boring.
8. I have sole control of my domain.

So yeah.

Something came up today that is astronomically huge! There is an organization in the Assemblies of God called Speed The Light. It is a program that funds missionaries needs for transportation and speaking equipment such as portable pa systems, projectors, etc. Every year, the youth of the A/G pledge an amount to STL and have fundraisers to meet that goal. Now to the cool part.

A man in one of the local churches son is adamant about having faith in God (Imagine that!) and is dead serious about doing something extraordinary to reach the pledge and beyond. His idea? To WALK to Springfield, Missouri, where the headquarters of Speed The Light are, and raise money along the way. Wow! That is 475 miles! The funny part? I'm thinking of joining him!

Why not? What do I have to lose except weight? I congratulate him in his blind faith in God and hope that I can have such.

A New post...get ready.

2009-01-23T23:04:00.002-06:00

Well, I'm moved.

It took me forever to get things the way I want it, but I'm happy. I'm in a little, tiny, cubicle that is painfully white. Hopefully the little decorations I have will spice it up a bit. I did receive a very cool brown leather love-seat from my pastor this week! It reminds me of Goldilocks. Its just right. Any bigger and it would dwarf my apartment. Any smaller and it would just be a chair. Love it.

Neighborhood:
The neighbors are a bit rowdy. I didn't mention that I'm living in college apartments? Wow. Nothing out of the ordinary, but they're definitely tanked. A very small girl (25ish) moved in above me and either she jumps off of her furniture really hard or she just walks very, very hard. I woke up at 4:21 am the other night and it was going on! Not to mention that every time this happens, my living room light/fan shakes and I suddenly feel like I'm in a disco.

News:
Well, I guess the biggest news is that we have a new president. I don't know if I've been more disappointed in Americans than now. (Let me be quick to insert a side note here.) This has nothing to do with race so breathe. I could truthfully say that I don't think a real Christian CAN be happy or support Barack Obama. Already he is proving my point with removing the ban on giving federal money to international groups that perform abortions. Not only this, but it comes from guess who? Us! Out of our own taxes! So, now I can pay for little Sadhi or Olga to have an abortion! Yay! You Can Not be a Christian and support that. Period.

He has done nothing but disappoint me from the very beginning. Everyone seems to forget his rebellion on wearing an American flag on his lapel. Something that every president and senator does. Good thing his PR guy spotted that one!

One of my big problems with him was his wife's statement.
“For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country."
I really wish you could see the steam coming from my head. So, let me get this straight. They haven't been proud of the blood, sweat, and tears that made this country from the beginning. How DARE someone say that? Let me rephrase that. How dare a real American say that? What about the numerous thousands of lives that have paid the price for freedom in WWI and WWII? Are you proud of them? There is so much that I can't even say it all. If that's the case, then someone needs to find another country to live in. Simple enough.

So, I'm disappointed. Disappointed in a generation that has fallen to crap. I'm disappointed in a people that are truly proud to say they voted for Obama. Well, I hope you're happy. As long as we're all politically correct and can't say anything to anybody anymore! I really wish you would wake up. Congratulations on ushering in a new dark age for America.

To past generations, I apologize.

How it Ends

2009-01-07T01:23:00.002-06:00

I heard a song today and wow. It is very profound. "How it Ends" by DeVotchka. Very powerful lyrics and intriguing ideas on the end. This is a good example of how lyrics and music can have a tremendous bond and produce a sound that truly beautiful. ;-)

Link
Lyrics:

Hold your grandmother’s bible to your breast
Gonna put it to the test
You wanted it to be blessed
And in your heart
You know it to be true
You know what you gotta do
They all depend on you

And you already know
Yet you already know
How this will end

There is no escape
From the slave catcher’s songs
For all of the loved ones gone
Forever’s not so long
And in your soul
They poked a million holes
But you never let them show
Come on its time to go

And you already know
Yet you already know
How this will end

Now you’ve seen his face
And you know that there’s a place in the sun
For all that you’ve done
For you and your children
No longer shall you need
You always wanted to believe
Just ask and you’ll receive
Beyond your wildest dreams

And you already know
Yet you already know
How this will end

You already know (You already know)
You already know (You already know)
You already know
How this will end
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song only enhanced the feeling I had tonight while looking around my room at everything I own in boxes. I am on the precipice of my destiny. It is a very strange emotion that I have. Sadness beyond what I expected, excitement for the future, happiness in the steps I am taking, and sorrow for the people I am leaving. I know that after I take this step, things will never be the same. My life will forever be altered and will only rely on memory for comfort. I could never begin to explain such a tight bond that exists between them and I. I literally feel as though a part of me is being torn from my chest. Never will I forget the legacy of Dan Parker.

I owe so much to so many. I could never repay the love and selflessness that my father has given to me. My heart aches just thinking about him. About his love, his self sacrifice, and his pain. He has never received what he deserved and given me more than I did. He is a man that has never taken fame or riches and simply does not know how much he has changed this world. If he only knew what waits for him. I love you dad. I still want to be like you.

I take my step now and set my face to the future.

New Year=New Life

2008-12-31T09:04:00.002-06:00

I wonder how many blogs will be titled "New Year"?

I am not going to have any resolutions for the year 2009. I think its a foolish idea to have resolutions. Everyone knows that they are what we should have done last year but were too lazy to try. Besides that, we'll quit them two weeks into the year anyway. So why bother?

I titled this blog "New Year=New Life" because that is literally what will happen to me. I am going to have a new life in 2009. I have been chosen to be the youth pastor at First Assembly of God in Tyler, TX and am moving there on the fifth of January. This is a giant leap for my future and am glad that God is leading me into new places of ministry. It is one of the oldest A/G churches in existence, but is going through a complete overhaul. They are building a brand spanking new building and I'm getting in on the ground floor. So, yay for me.

I am also getting married sometime this year. BIG change of pace for my life. I don't know when I'm to be married but it will be sometime this year. The joys and stress of planning a marriage, moving to a new location, starting a new job, and trying to balance everything and everyone have begun to make me crazy. I'm happy, don't get me wrong, but it is a tremendous load of stress also.

I never complain about being stressed. I find it so annoying when someone does. Everyone has stress. Deal with it. So, every time you ask me how I'm doing, I will answer "I'm great!".

Anyway, enough about my stress soapbox. I hope everyone has a great year and that you will pray for mine. I'll need it.

Thanksgiving!

2008-11-28T11:58:00.002-06:00

I feel like I've gained 30lbs this week! I have eaten SO much food! Aah! But its been great!

My fiance and I left Paris, Texas at 4:15pm on Tuesday and arrived in Hickory, North Carolina at 1:00pm on Wednesday! We drove almost 20 hours! We did make it a little longer due to the side attractions in Hot Springs, Arkansas and Ridgecrest, North Carolina.

I am spending my first thanksgiving with my fiance's family in Hickory! It has been a great experience so far. The food is great, the weather is nice, and the family is a hoot! I have really enjoyed the time we've spent with them. Her brothers are very easy to talk to and are a blast.

I'm missing my grandparents and hope they are doing well. This was my grandpa's first holiday without grandma so I'm sure its rough. I feel so bad for him. Its hard for me to imagine not having someone after being with them for so many years.

I have truly enjoyed this week with Bethany. It feels like its only been a day. It seems that the more we are together, the more I fall in love with her. I love you honey! Happy Thanksgiving!

Exercise

2008-11-13T10:30:00.004-06:00

Good morning erbody!

Again, I haven't posted in forever! I just forget.

I have gotten myself back to the gym. Hooray! I've lost 7lbs so far. I weighed in at 311 last week and now at 304. I am ready to lose this weight! I've been walking a whole lot and am hoping to lose a lot. My girlfriend and I have a good competition going. Whoever loses the most weight wins...something! We don't particularly know what yet, but it will be great!

Know the soreness is killing me! haha.

A New Place

2008-10-27T09:41:00.002-05:00

I have taken steps today that will propel me further into the presence of God. I feel that I am on the tips of my toes and leaning all the way forward off of an enormous cliff. Just a little further and I will leap into the never-ending glory and power that is the Lord. Just one more step and I will leave everything that was behind me and let myself go in His presence. I know that my life is about to drastically change and I am looking to see how the Father will lead me into the new things of life and the secret places of the Most High.

I crave the relationship with God that Paul had. The nearness to Jehovah that Moses experienced. The miracles that Peter performed. The devotion and love that David had. Yet, I realize that I cannot be these men. I can only be Zebulon Parker. I must seek my own relationship with Jesus Christ. I cannot rely on any other person to make me holy. I can't ride on anyone's anointing but my own. My life must be lived and sacrificed by me.

Thank you Father for your endless mercies and grace. Without them I would forever dead. Thank you for your sacrifice. I love you.

A Deeper Level II

2008-10-23T21:33:00.002-05:00

This is the second blog on "A Deeper Level". Read part I here.

So, to recap, we have established that I am a highly internal person. There is an entire world of thoughts and imaginations in my mind at any given time. Whom or what I choose to love is something that I am solid on. Okay, so that last line wasn't recapping at all.

______________________________________________________________________

Let's talk about music. Music affects me in so many ways. It can alter my mood or feelings during the day. I have realized that the choice of music that I listen to is often indicative of what my emotions or mood is. I also have many memories that are tied to a song or tune. I know that many people are this way but I am just telling you what I am like.

What is it about music? What is it really? We know that it is something that mankind has enjoyed for several millennium. It is used for celebration, entertainment, remembrance, and major milestone events in our lives. Could you imagine a wedding without music? Or a funeral? Music is something that is completely intertwined in our lives. In every other culture on the earth, music is found.

In my opinion, music could be the highest form of communicating what we truly feel. Why are we so drawn into a good song? Why are some tunes so catchy? It seems to drive us. There are some songs that really pull you into what the artist is trying to convey. What may be even more interesting is how we develop our "taste" in music. Why do some people like rock and hate rap? Who really likes polka? Is geography a factor at all in our choice of music? Obviously not. What determines our choice? These are all very interesting lines of thought and research topics that I think about.

I've read and taken part in studies that involved the effect that music has on the brain in testing and recovery. I learned how music increases the memories of people's minds during a test. I also read how it can improve the recovery time of people who are ill. I would love to have the money to just perform experiments with music all day and figure out how and why we love music so much. It is the single greatest outlet, hobby, and stress-reliever in my life and I encourage you to try some music that you've never heard before. You might like it!

A Deeper Level

2008-10-22T21:57:00.005-05:00

I am going to share something with you tonight that I never have before...a deeper level of my thoughts.

I view myself as a very internal person. The majority of my life has been spent in my mind. This can sound confusing or just plain silly but I will explain. I think a whole lot. Basically, I think as much or more than most women talk. I usually don't talk or take action unless I've thought about it. So, I may seem quiet or not paying attention, I am just internalizing. This does not mean that I'm not friendly or approachable. Every time that I meet someone I am completely open in conversation, I just divulge any information of myself.

When I really talk a lot, that usually means I'm either passionate about that topic or am just really engaged in stimulating conversation. Since I cannot compare my thought process to any other person's, I am not able to fully gauge what I am like. I am a very "mental" person. (No, not like the Velcro-laced shoes kind of mental) Even my emotions are tied to this. You will probably never see me truly get emotional. I have never been in one extreme of any emotion. I never let any emotion affect my level of consciousness or decisions. I am more concerned with the logical aspects of the situation. If something is wrong, fix it. Don't whine about it, just fix it. I am a very no-nonsense, black and white kind of person.

People come to me whining about how hard something is or how they don't know if they can make it with their pressure and I automatically get sick. Not like the flu sickness either. I get sick of that person. I cannot stand complaining about something when the only thing that is necessary is action. Now if someone truly needs help, then by all means I will help them. It is when someone acts so pitiful and whiny that I just walk away. This may seem calloused or hard but that is simply how I see the world. Less complaining, more action.

I see things as right or wrong. There are occasional gray areas but they are very rare. I rarely ever vary from those standards that I have set and require evidence that proves me otherwise before I change my view on anything.

So, this is just a small piece of the puzzle that makes up my mind. It isn't complete so I may continue writing on this in future blogs. Peace out.

Love

2008-10-17T08:06:00.008-05:00

Here is a much more cheerful post.

I am so happy and thankful that Bethany and I were brought together in love. It is an amazing thing, love. There have been innumerable songs written about it and will be. The great king Solomon wrote literal thousands of songs for love. The Bible is filled with references of love.

Here's a few to refresh your memory...
"Greater love has no one than he that lays his life down for his friends",
"God is love",
"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

Love never fails"

It is an interesting concept in life. As children we see love from our parents. As teenagers we think we're in love. As young adults we seek out love. In our middle age we know we are in love. Finally, in our twilight years we wish for love. It is a vital part of our very being! Find someone that is not in love and you will find a miserable person. I am a young adult and believe that I have found love. I have found one of the most important and powerful things our lifetime, love for another person and love in return.

We, as humans, take love very seriously. What will people do for love? The greatest wars in history were fought over love. We have an entire holiday set aside for it. There is a constant need for books and movies about love in the media industry. The largest organization and machine on the planet is pornography, a misguided search for love. We are totally infused with the concept of love and the search for it. We crave it and desire it in everything we do. It is written in our DNA.

Patience

2008-10-10T12:05:00.003-05:00

It seems all I do is apologize for not writing in this blog. I haven't been keeping up with it lately. In all honesty, I haven't wanted to. Whether it be facing what I know I'm going through or just not feeling up to it, I'm not sure.

I find myself looking around and being reminded of what the bottom of the barrel looks like. I don't visit here very often, but when I do, I'm miserable. It is at this point that I don't have any more of myself to give or any thing that I can do that I see the only one that is still there. Even in this place of my soul, He is there. And I melt. When everything else falls apart, He is still standing there, waiting for my hand. His patience is astounding to me. My heart breaks at seeing Him here. Why is He still here? Why keep pursuing me?

It tears at my heart, knowing that I have waited until this point to finally look to Him. That I don't have enough faith and trust in Him to keep me. That I don't believe Him when times are bad. That I don't talk to Him until I need something. The worst part of it all is His smile. I feel like a small child when I fell and hurt myself and ran to dad crying. He would just smile and take care of me. I've fallen Lord, I need you. I need your help and comfort. These tears are for pain in my life and for your mercy for me.

There is nothing I could ever do to repay what my Father has done for me. I can't understand His love for me. Thank you. I love you Father.

Time

2008-10-03T15:11:00.003-05:00

Hello all. Today is my birthday. Yay! I'm the ripe old age of twenty four. I just had one of the best times with my girlfriend and her parents. It was a blast, meeting the parents and getting acquainted. They seem like really nice people.

I just saw a movie trailer and found it disgusting. Here is the Yahoo! link for it. http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809842364/trailer

This is part of the "Anti-Christ" spirit that is slowly infiltrating the church and world. It is so easy to see that the rapture of the church is so near. The sad thing is that we don't even see it. We choose not to. When we have a woman that has no spiritual revelation of her own and has the largest church in the world, we have a problem. (Oprah Winfrey) I dare you to read her ideas on Jesus and the cross and see if it matches the Word of God. We have preachers who will not preach the truth and will only tickle our ears with smooth and eloquent words. The church even has some ministers that preach that there is no Hell and we all go to Heaven, no matter what.

Here is what scripture says...

Galatians 1:3-9
3.Grace be to you and peace from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ,

4.Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father:

5.To whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

6.I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel:

7.Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ.

8.But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.

9.As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus...

Wow

2008-10-01T00:07:00.002-05:00

So. I have had an entirely too crazy week....make that month. September was tough. My grandma died on the 11th. My grandpa(other side) also had surgery on that same day and is currently having to go once a week for 6 weeks for chemotherapy. My cousin had both breasts removed on the 18th and is undergoing 5 chemo treatments a week for 6 weeks. Our girl dog had a litter of puppies, but died after one week. Now we're having to bottle feed 9 puppies! We drove my dad to the E.R. at 6:30 am on Monday. His blood pressure was 228/114! He had all the scans, tests, and pokes done to him until today when he was discharged. Little sister has strep throat. The church is financially crumbling and we don't have health insurance. So....yeah. It has probably been 3 years since I had health insurance. Praise God, I haven't had to go to the doctor once!

I am glad October is here...
This is my favorite month of the year. Not just because it is my girlfriend and my birthdays, but also because of the weather and feel of the year. I love October.

Layout

2008-09-23T18:47:00.002-05:00

Howdy! I had a fairly good day today. Its has basically been one of those "don't do anything" kind of days. I'm sitting here chillin at the house and watching tv.

I was inspired by Bethany's profile change and decided to find something different myself. I thought I would try out a fall (ish) layout.

So, I am definitely ready for my girlfriend's and I birthdays! October 1st through the 3rd! Can't wait!

Well, my posts have been a little short lately but I can't think about much right now. I hope that God blesses you and keeps you in His hands

Balloons!

2008-09-22T22:39:00.003-05:00

It has been quite a while since I last posted. I had the best weekend I've had in a really long time. It was definitely the best date I've ever been on and Bethany and I loved it! We went to the Plano Balloon Festival and enjoyed ourselves. We even got to hear the worst British impersonations through the "Beatles Tribute Band". lol. I think I could have done a better job as Ringo but you know, whaddya say?

I fell in love with Bethany again this week. She continues to amaze me and make me feel like I am needed and wanted. One of the funniest times was at IHOP. There was a drunk lady and her man eating at the table next to us. She went in to an entire speech to her waitress about how wonderful she was doing and could barely stay awake. Great times. Although, I did almost have to hold Bethany down so she wouldn't kill all of the homecoming school kids. Yikes!

Well, its 10:45 pm and I can't decide if I want to go to bed or watch Monty Python's quest for the Holy Grail....

Rest

2008-09-17T10:03:00.003-05:00

So...I am finally back. My grandmother died last Friday and I drove up to Oklahoma for her services. The family took it fairly well. She was an amazing woman of God and constantly prayed for her family. I didn't realize the family was that big until we were all there! She had 20 grandchildren and 23 great grandchildren! Wow. So, I haven't had any internet access for a while.

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and happy. I am glad that I do not have to work today, as there is plenty of work to do around the house. I've got to clean my room from the hurricane that I left it in. (Quick packing)

I think that I and the rest of America is tired of the presidential election. I am so sick about hearing somebody said this and someone did that. Just hurry along November 4th.

Well, I'm gonna see if I can do something productive today.

Boring

2008-09-11T23:04:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I'm blank on anything today... I did see a really cool military helicopter flying very low to me today. It was some kind of stealth copter. As you can see, I'm tired.

I'm getting up at 5:30 am and don't want to. Unloading trucks that early is not fun. Well, I can't wait until next weekend! I get to see my girlfriend! And then birthday time!

I shall be much more interesting tomorrow. Thanks to all and may God bless you!

Bye

Tired

2008-09-10T23:06:00.002-05:00

I'm tired. Tired of not making enough money to save any. I am ready to really start making the dough. Obviously, that won't happen in the ministry but I can still dream.

I really want a vacation too. I just want to get away and relax. I really don't care where it is either! Colorado would be best though. Our family hasn't had a vacation in...5 years. We are severely overdue.

The past couple of days have been very powerful for my girlfriend's and my relationship. We have seen that we can not only survive but thrive together. It is only in conflict that your character is tested. We experienced a little and came out with flying colors. It was great. I love you Bethany.

So, I really am tired now. Its 11:49 pm and I need to catch up on sleep. Good night!

Country Thinkin

2008-09-10T02:12:00.013-05:00

It is extremely late to be writing a blog but it kind of just "hit me". I get these random thoughts occasionally and love it.

Today was an okay kinda day. It rained for most of the time and I was outdoors during it! Had to clean up a nasty spill at work and that was enlightening. The smell of raw sewage isn't something customers usually want to smell while shopping...haha.

I had a good long talk with the folks about money, moving, and whatnot. We tried to figure out what it would cost me to move. Scary. Like, impossible without a great paying job or two scary. If God provides a way for me, I will be able to move. Without Him I can do nothing and in this case, it is very literal. Did I mention that I've had a headache all day? Don't know why...

I had a ...discussion with someone today about being redneck and wanted to talk about this. Let me first clarify that this is in no way retaliatory to their statements or opinions. This is what I say. I am proud of my country, southern, redneck heritage. The term redneck comes from The West Virginia Coal Miners March or the Battle of Blair Mountain when coal miners wore red bandannas around their necks to identify themselves as seeking the opportunity to unionize. It also comes from people who worked outdoors for most of their lives and developed a "red neck" from the sun.

I have supplied a few visual examples of what I mean. I have total pride and respect in my heritage. There is nothing for me to feel ashamed about when I say that I am a redneck or country boy. It boils me quickly when I feel that I am either being made fun of or thought down on because of who I am. I am proud to say that I grew up on my grandfather's farm and that both sides of my family grew their own food. They provided with produce and cattle during the Great Depression and afterward for their families and survived. Both sides of my family would be the symbol of what "country" is. One side is entirely cowboy and the other redneck.

Do not misinterpret me though. I will be the first in line when it comes to changing something that is derogatory or negative to my behavior. I cannot stand people that cannot read, write, or speak clearly at all by their choice. If someone cannot learn or needs help, then by all means they are excused. I am not associating myself with the "image" of the hick that the media has produced. (No teeth, drunk, spitting tobacco, can hardly talk, mentally challenged.) Those are actually few and far between but nevertheless, that is not what a redneck is.

Obviously, you can see that this is an important issue to me and is one that is near to my heart. I am not offended by any means, I purely wanted to reveal a part of who I am and what I stand for. This is not something that can be changed because it is not something that needs to. I am truly a jack of all trades. I am a person who loves opera and classical music. Who also enjoys movies, theatre, guns, rap, knives, hunting, fishing, museums, sophistication, intellectual discussions, sitting around a campfire, cold weather, rock and roll, ( okay basically every type of music) and s'mores. I almost like it all. I love hispanic people, black people, white people, asian people, european people, or just anything from the three human classes. Oh and I'm a redneck.

Ready

2008-09-09T01:18:00.004-05:00

Today...was boring. All work and no play. That's been the theme of late. I caught up on sleep, which was nice, but didn't have any time to do anything. Hopefully tomorrow will be different.

I am really ready to move. I've been crossing my fingers for a job in Paris and nothing has happened as of yet. Gotta get the job, then the house, and then hopefully a life! Ready.

I noticed that I've been impatient today. I don't know why. Maybe it is frustration
over not having money or being where I want to be. Hmm...that may be it!

Lately I've been performing an inventory of myself as a whole. Like a computer system, I need updates. There are several things that I want to change about myself and have struggled to do so in the past. For example, I often feel guilty or uncomfortable when I voice and stand on an opinion that is against my friends, girlfriend, or family. Obviously, I'm not talking about matters of concrete faith, or terribly sincere things. They are typically trivial things but occasionally, they are not. I am teaching myself to be...well, me. It is not easy.

Do not mistake this as myself being a confused person. I know exactly who I am in Christ and life. It is not a problem of not knowing who I am, rather a problem of knowing who I am and changing that. I am in a constant state of changing and growing. I do not believe in certain conditions that "make" people the way they are. We are often too quick to departmentalize people in categories to fit our own understandings and explanations. A boy isn't paying attention in class, therefore he is ADD. A young girl is hyper so she must be ADHD! (By the way, only 3-5% of the world's population has ADHD. So...) And yes even the OCD's. Why so many acronyms? I believe that we often "declare" what we are to the world so we can explain our own quirky behavior.

I believe that we make who we are. If I see something wrong in myself, I should fix it. It is as simple as that. The only problem is fixing it. We, as humans, do not like change. We never have. It is not that we cannot change though but that we do not. We have the choice. We choose not to. Go ahead. Take a few seconds and mull that one over. Breathe in....breathe out.
Every single person chooses who they want to be. If I am sarcastic and too sharp, then I must change myself. If I am too lazy or a pushover, I must adjust the way I live. Everything is a choice.

So, to everyone I know, I am being more persistent, forthright, and bold with my opinions. I should not feel guilty if I must listen to everyone else's...right? Too long I have let things go just to keep the peace. I am changing myself for the better and will stand on the issues that I want to stand on.

Thank you. Good night.

Late

2008-09-07T23:55:00.002-05:00

Hey erbody! I still have 5 minutes to this day so I'll be in a hurry. I had a fairly good day. We had a good service and the Lord moved in people's lives.

Today was basically a lazy Sunday. I am really thankful for that too! I was able to relax and take it easy. Work is definitely not something I am looking forward to in 8 hours from now. Oh well.

I am ready to move. Most definitely. Prayerfully, a job will open up soon and I can afford to go. I look forward to the things that God has in store for me and can't wait until I receive them! Well, its time to go to sleep so.... G'Night.

Saturday

2008-09-06T23:08:00.002-05:00

I had an okay kind of day today. I don't particularly care for working on Saturdays but alas, one must do what one can if to survive! That reminds me of an old song called Money.

A thought came to me today. (Imagine that!) Every girl/woman I saw today I compared to Bethany. In a good way. I would think, "She isn't as pretty as Bethany" or "I'm so glad that she chose me". It was refreshing. I loved the feeling that I had the exact person that matched me.

I often wonder about what I will be like five years from now. Where will I be? What will I be doing? Who will I be? This can all add a bit of anxiety to one's life. I can't deny that I worry or fret over my future, but I also know that it is all in God's hands. It reminds me of this verse.

Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

I don't think that this gives me a reason to be lazy or confined to where I am at now. Rather, I believe that this verse interprets as saying, "Be happy. Wherever you are, in whatever shape you are in, be happy." Then I started thinking about those songs, "Don't worry, be happy" and "Three little birds"! Great songs when you're worried about stuff. So, I encourage you all to be happy with what you are doing now. Don't stay where you've always been, but be whatever and wherever God wants you to be.

Ciao

Crazy

2008-09-06T13:50:00.001-05:00

This is only a side entry for today...

I was on lunch and browsed by a website that I usually get all of my funny crap from and saw this. I cried my eyes out I was laughing so hard! Here's to all you people from North Carolina! *wink wink. ;)

Warmth

2008-09-05T14:45:00.002-05:00

The Lord is so good to me. He supplies my every need. I am so thankful for my girlfriend, Bethany. She is everything that I imagined love would be and more. Last night was a critical one for the both of us. I was able to fully open myself to someone for the first time. Without getting all complicated or telling a long story, I will just say that in my heart and soul I know that I have found the one person in the world that I can truly trust and confide in. It is a rare gift to find someone as such. I cherish our love and friendship every single day.

I know in the deepest caverns of my soul that I am unabashedly, unequivocally in love with Bethany Pearce. That is the most amazing feeling in the world, feeling your heart anchored to the heart of the one you love. I shall never forget it.

Thank you Bethany. For warming my heart and giving life to my own. It is something, to be a son in the hands of a loving God. I weep at His love for me.

Prayer

2008-09-04T10:51:00.005-05:00

So....my opinion on the Republican party changed dramatically in one night. Wow. Palin's speech was awesome! It was about 10 minutes into her speech and I said, "Everyone in America is thinking the exact same thing. That's why he picked her!".

I made first contact with my gf's dad yesterday. "Dum...Dum...Dummmm!" Naw, he was really cool. He was easy to talk to and joke with. Now I just need to talk with mum!

So, I didn't know that guys could get mammograms until last night. A friend of mine is having one today. He has a really sore spot on his chest and its been there a while. Pray for him if you can. While on this topic, my cousin recently found that she has stage 4 cancer and is scheduled to have both breasts removed on the 18th. Please keep her in your prayers and believe with me that she will be healed!

Adieu!

Awake...

2008-09-03T13:00:00.004-05:00

I woke up at 6:31 am today. It was one of those times where you are jerked from sleep so fast that you don't even know what happened. I was totally awake. I Didn't know why but felt like I needed to pray. Those are so weird sometimes.

So I think I found who I'm voting for in November! Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution party. I've never voted for anyone from an independent party before but his stance on issues are the best I've seen. He's a Baptist pastor in Pensacola, Florida and has his own internet radio station. Check him out! www.baldwin08.com

I am so ready for the next stages in my life. I feel that there are places that God is wanting to take me. They will require new sacrifices and give new rewards. My old youth pastor would say that I am in the "God Fog". I'm trying to feel out where God wants me and can't see a thing! I believe that letting go is the key. If I let go and give everything to God, He will direct my path...

Greeting

2008-09-02T10:40:00.000-05:00

Greetings to all. This is a collection of my thoughts on life, love, and everything in between. I will be daringly honest and will hold nothing back. This will be the only place that you will know my mind, so if you care, cherish it.

I will expose inner folds of my mind and it will not always be pretty. We are all given a mind of our own, so there may be views or opinions that you find agreeable or offensive. That is your discretion.

Congratulations on being one of few to know the real me. So sit down, buckle up, and please keep your hands inside the vehicle. Its going to be a bumpy ride.

P.S. Don't feed the animals.